Understanding Love - sample

By Sarah Chambers D.C.H.P.

Loving Consciously

Human beings are growing and evolving in so many different areas of self-understanding. Never before have we been asked by each other to totally engage and experience our intimate relationships with so much profundity, intensity, conscious awareness, honesty, and communication. Never in the history of the Western world have we been challenged to look so deeply at ourselves and acknowledge that the causal factors of most issues within relationships surface from our own emotional luggage, which we unwittingly carry around for years. We dragged the same old stuff from one relationship to another.

We fall into the trap of repeating patterns of emotional dysfunctional in our thinking, feeling and behaving. No matter how many relationships we experience the same old unresolved issues seem to surface. Why is it so hard to let go and move on from past hurts and fears? I see people everyday that are confused and bewildered and ask me questions like "what's wrong with me" or "what's life all about"

If you were born to parents that maintain a balanced loving relationship, the odds are that you will model their behaviour and take on their positive beliefs and values about love and marriage, whether they are right or wrong for you. If childhood experiences have left wounds then they will undoubtedly manifest within your relationships later on in life. Love relationships are often bonded and establish on the foundation of wounds.

Duncan aged 22
I really love my parents and no matter what they do or say they are my parents. They both gave me the best they could in life, I never went without and had lots of attention. Sometimes my mum was over protective. They will never see how they messed up my life by the way they treated each other by fighting and arguing all the time.

Mirror - Mirror

When you fall in love, you see in your partner, your own creative potential. What you perceive is a mirror reflection of yourself. The mirror serves in two ways and both are positive, but may not seem to be! First, the mirror (your partner) reflects back to you, aspects of yourself. Being aware of this, you can use it to learn about yourself. Second, what is lacking in you, will reflect back also. If you are unaware of what is happening, your relationship can suffer. Blocked by lack of understanding and your own personal emotional luggage or issues.

If you find it difficult to commit to a relationship you will attract into your life the very person(s) you need to challenge you to do this very thing. You are always attracting to you the very thing that you need to learn, though it may not seem like that sometimes!

Michael & Anne 

When Michael first met Anne he was unconsciously drawn to the aspects of her that needed developing within himself. She was confident, assertive and able to easily set boundaries. Michael had always been attracted to strong women in the past but his relationships had never managed to progress more than a few months.

Anne was a highly intelligent woman but needed to develop stability in her life. She was attracted to Michael as he reflected back these qualities. The relationship could have gone two ways.

Michael could have allowed Anne to take the lead within their relationship, resulting in him feeling inferior and inadequate when he was with her. Anne could have mistaken his lack of confidence as a sign of weakness and stability as boring. Relationship stalemate.

What happened was this. Anne had already realised that she had repeated old patterns of behaviour in past relationships. She had spent some time on her own personal development. When she met Michael she was able to see his potential and helped him to grow and evolve by sharing with him what she had learnt.

Michael was open to learning from Anne and together they created a loving and lasting relationship based on the positive qualities each other offer. Anne learnt that she could have a stable secure relationship by cultivating these qualities from Michael. Michael learnt to model Anne's behaviour. They both continued to learn about themselves through personal development courses, and have never looked back.

When you consciously step onto the path of your own personal growth and development and begin setting goals for your own self-improvement and self-development you lead by example, your whole life changes with intent and purpose. The new learning's result in new healthy behaviours. These new ways of thinking feeling and perceiving you put into practice. The results ripple out into your environment like a pebble thrown into a still pond.

If you find yourself behaving in ways that sabotages yourself and your relationship it may be that their are unresolved emotional issues from the past effecting your relationships today? Whether you are single, married or dating, this book is will help you to understand your own feelings, thinking patterns and behaviours. Sample the audio to this ebook

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